Eroticnoire Shirabi Taster Session – FAQ

Eroticnoire presents the Shibari Taster Session. Come and learn about rope play, restraints, techniques, styles and more – visit Eventbrite for more details

Here’s a FAQ for attendees

Q: I’m single can I attend alone?

A: Yes, this event is for singles as well as couples and groups You can practice on yourself or be paired with another attendee

Q: Will I need to be nude/undressed?

A: No. Attendees will be clothed. We do advise fitted comfortable clothing eg leggings, fitted tops etc

Q: Will rope be provided?

A: Yes, there will be rope available. You can also purchase rope at the venue

Q: Will there be men and women?

A: Yes. We welcome everyone to attend and learn

Q: Do you welcome groups?

A: Yes, groups are welcome. Although we do not offer group tickets

Q: Can I wear lingerie or be nude?

A: Lingerie is ok and we welcome all individuals to be free and comfortable. However, we ask that you consider other guests.

Q: Will there be one-to-one coaching?

A: Due to the nature of the event coach will provide some one-to-one guidance but not a prolonged or exclusive one-to-one coaching

Q: Can I take photos or video?

A: Yes, you’re welcome to take photos and videos of yourself, partner or friends. We do ask you respect the privacy of other guests

Q: Is this event exclusively for people of African and Caribbean heritage

A: Yes. This event is strictly for those of African and Caribbean heritage to explore this area of BDSM and kink and breakdown the under representation of this group of people.

Q: Do I have to get involved or can i just watch and learn?

A: You’re welcome to attend and watch. however, it is a practical workshop. You can practice on yourself.

Q: is it only women who can be tied up?

A: No. men can be tied up too. Shibari is for all genders to explore and enjoy.

Eroticnoire Shirabi Taster Session – April 27 2022

The Eroticnoire Shibari Taster Session gives you a chance to explore, indulge and get hands on guidance and experience with Shibari (also known as rope play or rope art).

Shibari expert and advocate Mousey aka @mouseinrope will be your host and teacher.

Structure of the evening:

• Demonstration and teaching
• Guided practice session
• Q&A
• Free time to practice and network

This will be a friendly, inclusive session. Suitable for singles, couples and groups. It’s the ideal place to learn, explore, meet likeminded people, a date or just a sole exploration.

This event is specifically for people of African and Caribbean heritage and other POCs

Places are limited

Here’s a link to a FAQ

Eroticnoire book club – Brown Sugar

Brown Sugar brings together some of the most acclaimed voices in today’s black literary world — Sapphire, Natasha Tarpley, Reginald Harris, and Pamela Sneed, among them. These titillating stories cover the full spectrum of black experience and identity as they reveal sexuality and sensuality in all their varied and exotic forms. From the subtle to the graphic, Brown Sugar embraces the passion of black love and lust, and will appeal to both men and women. Featuring both well-established authors and promising new writers, this one-of-a-kind collection represents the past, present, and future of black literature at its pleasurable and outrageous best.

It is a must-have for every lover, as well as every lover of first-rate fiction.

PSA: listen up. Pay attention. Recognise.

PSA: listen up. Pay attention. Recognise.

Indulge yourself in erotic writing

Indulge yourself in erotic writing

How to have a 3some but without having a third person

I’m pretty sure that one or both partners in most relationships today have thought or spoken about having a threesome. However, the idea of bringing in a third person, finding them, setting up boundaries, creating reassurances etc can be overwhelming. 

So here’s a way to explore the pleasures and sensations of having a third person without actually having anyone else – toys!

Let me explain – if a woman would like to experience MMF (male, male, female) combination of a threesome then something like the curved 7.5inch dong is perfect. It’s a dildo with a suction cup that can be stuck to any flat surface. So, for example it can be stuck to the floor so she can ride it while giving oral to her partner. Alternatively it can be stuck to the wall while she pushes back on it. 

For the man the Satisfyer Men Pleasure Stroker Masturbator is that is needed. His partner can ride is face while using the toy on his penis. It’ll give the sensation of experiencing two women at the same time. Another alternative is for the woman to hold the toy next to her yoni so that he can alternate his strokes between being inside her and the toy. 

There are plenty of creative and kinky ways these toys can be used to recreate the sensations of having a third person in on that action. Yes, some aspects and dimensions won’t happen being touched and stroked but multiple hands but, it’s a great starting point. 

Give it a go and let us know how you get on.

Kinks vs Fetishes – what’s the difference?

As more and more people exploring their sexual side kinks and fetishes are an area that comes up. However, the understanding of what they are leaves some confused. Here’s the Eroticnoire 101 of kinks vs fetish

Kink: Something that arouses you and is usually considered outside the ‘norm’ or unconventional. Kinks tend to be around exploration, discovery, pushing boundaries and an addition enhances the sexual experience. 

Fetish: This is a sexual act, object, aeasthetic, behaviour, characteristic or body part that is necessary for a person to become aroused or a part of sex. They tend to very specific and until they are satisfied won’t result in sexual pleasure, an example being feet play. 

There is a danger with fetishes as some can be based on race or inappropriate and non consensual acts such as peeping. 

It should be pointed out that BDSM is an area of sexual pleasure that can cause a lot of confusion as an aspect of BDSM can be a kink for one person and a fetish for another – example spanking or choking. They often overlap and form a grey area. A way to differentiate the two is when a kink becomes the primary source of sexual pleasure, then it’s a fetish. 

Edging what is it and are the benefits

Edging – What is it?
It’s the sexual technique of repeatedly building up to an orgasm and delaying the release each time. While for the most part orgasm is the end goal of sex preventing release might seem counter intuitive.

Why do it?
But here’s five reasons to edge
Can intensify the actual orgasm
Improve stamina
Aid in prolonging sex
Can help achieve multiple orgasms

How’s it done
Gradually stimulate yourself or partner to just below the point of orgasm eg if the point of orgasm is 9 out of 10 stop at 7 or 8.
Once you’ve got to that point pause or stop stimulation until you feel the sensation subside
Take deep breaths during this time
Once sensation has subsided, it starts to gradually build up again to that point just below orgasm

Tip
You can edge for as many times or long as you like. Some people do it for days or even weeks.

Eroticnoire Bookclub – Bell Hooks: Salvation

Written from both historical and cultural perspectives, Salvation takes an incisive look at the transformative power of love in the lives of African Americans. Whether talking about the legacy of slavery, relationships and marriage in Black life, the prose and poetry of Martin Luther King, Jr., James Baldwin, and Maya Angelou, the liberation movements of the 1950s, 60s, and 70s, or hip hop and gangsta rap culture, hooks lets us know what love’s got to do with it.

Combining the passionate politics of W.E.B. DuBois with fresh, contemporary insights, hooks brilliantly offers new visions that will heal our nation’s wounds from a culture of lovelessness. Her writings on love and its impact on race, class, family, history, and popular culture raise all the relevant issues. This is work that helps us heal. Salvation shows us how to create beloved American communities.

Wifey material mentality and the dangers

My thoughts on ‘wifey material’ and its danger.

I’ll let the blog do your thoughts but would love to hear your thoughts, experience and questions if you’ve got any. Let’s talk.

• With the ‘wifey material’ mentality nobody wins.

Not the ‘sexual’ women, not the ‘wifey material’ women, not even the man.

• Men (and society) are conditioned to believe women who own their sexual agency are not ‘wifey’ material. These women are not seen as modest. They don’t attach shame, guilt or hide their sensuality and as a result are not respected, valued or deemed worthy.

• Women who uphold the status of being ‘modest’ or don’t express or hide their sexual agency are seen as ‘wifey’ material. They save themselves for their future husband/a good man and uphold the modesty status as a badge of honour and virtue and generally viewed as ‘good girls’, domesticated, home-makers etc.

• The issue: sexually liberated women excite most men – but also scare them too. Men will sleep with them, lust after and desire them – even love them. However, they are seen as tainted, impure, unworthy of the status of ‘wifey’.

• ‘wifey material’ women are unable to excite these same men as a sexually liberated women does. These men struggle with being able to simultaneously love, respect and sexually desire their ‘wifey material’ woman the same way they do a sexual liberated woman. It’s basically either or. And in some case these men then (some, not all) cheat on their wives with same sexually liberated women.

• Sexually liberated women (who wish to be a wife and very much deserving of marriage), are ‘left on the shelf’ or ‘for the streets’ and boxed into the dimensions of not being suitable wife. They are not even given basic respect, love, value the deserve. They are viewed as sexual object and objectified rather than as a person.

• These men who marry a ‘wifey material’ woman are then ‘trapped’ in a relationship, marriage, situationship because they’ve been told the sexually liberated women is undesirable. They are unable to see their wife in any sexual way as they associate it with being a whore.

• Bottom line is – nobody wins. We all need to recognise, unlearn, challenge and deconstruct this ‘wifey material’ mentally. This is not all men, it’s not all women but it is an issue for all sides.   

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