Edging what is it and are the benefits

Edging – What is it?
It’s the sexual technique of repeatedly building up to an orgasm and delaying the release each time. While for the most part orgasm is the end goal of sex preventing release might seem counter intuitive.

Why do it?
But here’s five reasons to edge
Can intensify the actual orgasm
Improve stamina
Aid in prolonging sex
Can help achieve multiple orgasms

How’s it done
Gradually stimulate yourself or partner to just below the point of orgasm eg if the point of orgasm is 9 out of 10 stop at 7 or 8.
Once you’ve got to that point pause or stop stimulation until you feel the sensation subside
Take deep breaths during this time
Once sensation has subsided, it starts to gradually build up again to that point just below orgasm

Tip
You can edge for as many times or long as you like. Some people do it for days or even weeks.

Eroticnoire Bookclub – Bell Hooks: Salvation

Written from both historical and cultural perspectives, Salvation takes an incisive look at the transformative power of love in the lives of African Americans. Whether talking about the legacy of slavery, relationships and marriage in Black life, the prose and poetry of Martin Luther King, Jr., James Baldwin, and Maya Angelou, the liberation movements of the 1950s, 60s, and 70s, or hip hop and gangsta rap culture, hooks lets us know what love’s got to do with it.

Combining the passionate politics of W.E.B. DuBois with fresh, contemporary insights, hooks brilliantly offers new visions that will heal our nation’s wounds from a culture of lovelessness. Her writings on love and its impact on race, class, family, history, and popular culture raise all the relevant issues. This is work that helps us heal. Salvation shows us how to create beloved American communities.

Wifey material mentality and the dangers

My thoughts on ‘wifey material’ and its danger.

I’ll let the blog do your thoughts but would love to hear your thoughts, experience and questions if you’ve got any. Let’s talk.

• With the ‘wifey material’ mentality nobody wins.

Not the ‘sexual’ women, not the ‘wifey material’ women, not even the man.

• Men (and society) are conditioned to believe women who own their sexual agency are not ‘wifey’ material. These women are not seen as modest. They don’t attach shame, guilt or hide their sensuality and as a result are not respected, valued or deemed worthy.

• Women who uphold the status of being ‘modest’ or don’t express or hide their sexual agency are seen as ‘wifey’ material. They save themselves for their future husband/a good man and uphold the modesty status as a badge of honour and virtue and generally viewed as ‘good girls’, domesticated, home-makers etc.

• The issue: sexually liberated women excite most men – but also scare them too. Men will sleep with them, lust after and desire them – even love them. However, they are seen as tainted, impure, unworthy of the status of ‘wifey’.

• ‘wifey material’ women are unable to excite these same men as a sexually liberated women does. These men struggle with being able to simultaneously love, respect and sexually desire their ‘wifey material’ woman the same way they do a sexual liberated woman. It’s basically either or. And in some case these men then (some, not all) cheat on their wives with same sexually liberated women.

• Sexually liberated women (who wish to be a wife and very much deserving of marriage), are ‘left on the shelf’ or ‘for the streets’ and boxed into the dimensions of not being suitable wife. They are not even given basic respect, love, value the deserve. They are viewed as sexual object and objectified rather than as a person.

• These men who marry a ‘wifey material’ woman are then ‘trapped’ in a relationship, marriage, situationship because they’ve been told the sexually liberated women is undesirable. They are unable to see their wife in any sexual way as they associate it with being a whore.

• Bottom line is – nobody wins. We all need to recognise, unlearn, challenge and deconstruct this ‘wifey material’ mentally. This is not all men, it’s not all women but it is an issue for all sides.   

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5 toys to spice up Valentine’s Day

With valentine’s just around the corner there is no better time to consider buying a new adult toy. At RedRoomPleasures.com we’ve picked out five top toys that’ll have you and your lover tingling with pleasure

1. Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation Clitoral Massager

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is one of the top 10 toys on the market. This clitoral stimulator will vibration will take you to orgasm heaven. It’s been dubbed the squirt maker. The soul snatcher. But it’s never been called underwhelming. It’s fully waterproof so you can really get wet and wild with it. Buy Now

2. Satisfyer App Enabled Sexy Secret Panty Vibrator Wine Red

The Satisfyer panty vibrator is a discreet beauty can be worn in public and controlled by a mobile app. It’s perfect if you want to get naughty in public and see how far you can push your boundaries. It’s whisper quiet so it can’t be heard. It can even be controlled from the other side of the world via wifi. Perfect if there’s distance between you both.
Buy Now

3. Satisfyer Partner Couples Vibrator

This Satisfyer Partner Couples Vibrator toy offers simultaneous pleasure for both partners during sex. It gives clitoral and g-spot stimulation as well as vibration of the man’s penis – it’s win-win. Buy Now

4. Satisfyer App Enabled Curvy 2 Plus Clitoral Massager Pink

The Satisfyer Curvy 2 Plus is the upgrade of the satisfyer pro 2 with the added benefit of being controlled by an app. Great if you want to explore control and submission in a playful, sexy way. Buy Now

5. Satisfyer Men Pleasure Stroker Masturbator

The Satisfyer Men Pleasure Stroker Masturbator toy flips the focus of pleasure onto the man. Great to use on him or have him put on a show. This toy combines the sensation of oral and vaginal penetration into one. Buy Now

Chronicles – the new book from Mr Eroticnoire

Chronicles by Mr Eroticnoire

Calling all book lovers. This new book includes 16 stories based in London. Perfect to enjoy with a partner, as a gift or for those alone times. Available on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk  – search ‘Eric Noire’

Eroticnoire bookclub: Pussy Prayer: by black girl bliss

Pussy Prayers is about rekindling the connection to your pleasure center – the space through which you manifest worlds – regardless of the body parts you do or don’t have. These pages speak to the unique sexual experiences of Black women and femmes in order to help them heal from trauma and miseducation while learning how to powerfully conjure up a life that is dripping with sweetness – all by getting in touch with the one part of yourself that was divinely designed for pleasure. Here, you’ll find stories, sister-girl-talk, and practical, easy-to-do rituals to begin your personal journey of understanding the importance of pleasure, its connection to manifestation, and ways to increase your personal power so you can enjoy #EverydayDeliciousness.

5 herbs for improved sexual performance

Maca: This bad boy has a load of benefits which include: increased libdo, improved fertility, decreased stress, and improved fitness performance. It’s not a instant fixer and does require you take it over a period of time for it to kick in. This can vary but can be as little as a week to a month.  

Panax ginseng: generally speaking it promotes the release of nitric oxide, triggering erections by relaxing the smooth muscles of the penis. It can also enhance sexual arousal by increasing energy levels and hormone regulation. It can also lead to having firmer, longer-lasting erections that are easier to attain.

Tongkat ali: This root has been found to male reproductive function and fertility – including sperm motility, semen production, libido, erectile function. It also in the regulation of testosterone hormone 

Yohimbine: traditionally it’s been used as an aphrodisiac and to enhance sexual performance. Yohimbe also helps resolve erectile dysfunction and improve athletic performance. It may be hard to find but it’s definitely one to try. 

Ginkgo biloba: this herb works by relaxing the blood vessels allowing blood to flow to the penis. It also offers 4 positive effects on all 4 phases of the sexual response cycle: desire, excitement (erection and lubrication), orgasm, and resolution (afterglow). 

10 kink and fetish based date ideas for Valentine’s day

With Valentine’s fast approaching it can leave a lot of people stuck with what to do away from the typical dinner and gifts. Well, as you’re part of the Eroticnoire tribe it’s safe to say you’re open to something that might be a little more kinky. Here’s 10, yes, 10 date ideas for Valentine’s day. 

1. Visit a BDSM dungeon: whether you’re into kink or not visiting a BDSM dungeon can take your sexual experiences into a whole new world. Some dungeons nowadays even offer overnight stays and you’ll have the whole place to yourself. You can be as wild and loud as you like. You’ll have the chance to try out new things and explore in an environment that is fitting. A quick Google search should throw up options. Try using ‘BDSM Dungeons near me’. 

2. Read erotic poetry or stories to eachother: If you’re a sapoisexual how about reading some erotic poetry to eachother. You can up the stakes by reading a novel or simply the sex scenes the book. To add some extra sexiness, have your partner play with themselves while you read out aloud. You could also orally pleasure them while they read.

3. Erotic workshop: whether you’re in the early stages of dating or in a full-blown relationship erotic workshops are a great way to develop connection as well as have fun. There is a wide range of workshops, from tantric sex, to shirabi, to role play classes. You’ll be taught by experts and learn something new together. Google is your friend, get searching. 

4. Visit a sex shop together: this can be fun and an opportunity to dive into what the other likes, willing to explore, and has enjoyed in the past. Plus you can pick up something new and go home to try it out. You can make it fun by buying something for each other without the person knowing what it is until you get home. 

5. Have a non third person threesome: I’m sure you’re confused by this one so let me explain. Chances are one or both partners in a relationship would like to try a threesome but not sure. One way around it is to incorporate a vagina flashlight and dildo into the mix. That way you can experience dual simulation without the need for there to be a third person. Example – the woman can stick the dildo to the wall or floor and ride it while giving her partner oral so she’ll get the sensation of having two men at the same time. The woman can ride the man’s face and use the flashlight on him. He’ll have the sensation of tasting her while being inside another woman. There are lots of positions, places and things to explore this game. 

6. Explore a fetish: If you’ve never explored your fetish now is the perfect time. Have a fetish focused date where you just explore your kinks. There’s so many fetishes and kinks but the popular ones are rope, latex, spanking and choking. Ensure you discuss limits, safe words to ensure you’re both comfortable and safe. 

7. Get a massage together: We all know massages feel great and can help us relax, ease tension and de-stress. So why not get one together. You’ll both feel great after and be in the mood to get busy or simply just relax for the rest of the night. Either way you’ll be feeling good. 

8. Use a remote controlled sex toy in public: There are lots of toys today that can be worn in public (by the woman) and controlled remotely. Some are simple and it’s just a simple remote that turns the toy on and off but you have to be within a set range, say 10 feet. Others have more control and some can even be controlled via a smartphone app. This means you can be literally on the other side of the world. If this sounds like it could be fun www.redroompleasures.com offers some remote controllable toys. 

9. Sex crawl: this is like a bar crawl where you go from location to location and have sex. This can be done at home but for the more adventurous this can be done in public locations. It doesn’t have to be full blown sex, it can be oral, finger play, using toys etc. The aim is simply do it in as many public (and if you’re really brave, crowded) places as possible. 

10. Visit a burlesque/kink performance show: Burlesque shows are a great form of sexy, artistic and entertaining fun. They can make for a great way to set the mood without pressure, spark ideas and be a great post event talking point. 

Have to make an orgasmic new year’s resolution

What’s an orgasmic New year’s resolution?

Put simply it’s like any other new year’s resolution but it specifically focuses on sexual fulfilment and pleasure. Just as many make resolutions about saving more, getting healthy etc shouldn’t we do the same with the sexual aspects of ourselves and lives? 

Steps to creating a orgasmic new year’s resolution

Here’s some tips on how to create your very own orgasmic new year’s resolution

1. Self reflect and evaluate: What are the areas and ways you’d felt your sexual self and life left you feeling fulfilled and unfulfilled? What were the pros and cons of your sexual discisions, reactions and thought processes. Be honest, but also be kind to yourself. It’s not about beating yourself up or blaming.  
2. Outline your sexual goals: Think about what you’d like to sexual do more of as well as what you’d like to explore. Think about your personality, inner voice and why you’d like to do the things you’ve outlined. What’s your motivation for setting your orgasmic resolutions? This might require more in depth exploration and even support of a professional
3. Talk about it: If you’re in a relationship it’s vital you talk with your partner about it. Find out if they have any. See if they align, if there’s any hard limits and discuss how you’d both move forward
4. Do some research: yeah, sometimes you just want to dive right in but depending on what you want to explore, you’ll need to get some background knowledge. 
5. Take your time: Everyone’s pace, level and journey is different when it comes to sexual fulfilment, discovery and expression. The only key advice is to remain consistent, review and  adjust if necessary. Example,  If  you wish to explore tantric sex or go to a party remember it may take time for you mind and body to connect so you  can find your rhythm. 

conclusion

Bottomline is to review, outline, talk about it, research and don’t rush. Developing an orgasmic resolution is a journey within itself and just like sex that can be as pleasurable as the climatic destination. 

If you have an orgasmic new year’s resolution or tips or stories on how to have an orgasmic life  we’d love to hear about it. 

Five top tips to last longer in bed

Here’s our five top tips to help men last longer in bed. Try it out and let us know how you get on.

1. Breathe: The first tip is to try and slow down your breathing. when excited or anxious our breathing changes. during sex learn to take deep, slow, long breathes – it’s like erotic meditation. It helps reduce stress/anxiety, slow your heart rate and clear your mind.
2. Vary your pace: As side from the fact that most women don’t enjoy jack hummer pounding a tip to not only pleasing her but help you last longer. Go slow, pause, change position (but not too often), vary the depth of your strokes.
3. Practice kegels: these aren’t just for women. Men who do kegels can benefit from stronger erections, delay orgasm and to top it off have more intense orgasms.
4. Get some supplements: There are now numerous natural herbs and supplements available that offer a range of benefits to help improve men’s sexual performance. The benefits range from balancing of hormones, boost libido, enhance endurance and more. Some of these are:
   1. Maca (black, red and yellow)
   2. Ashwaganda
   3. Horny goat weed
   4. Tongkat Ali
   5. Ginkgo biloba
5. Knock one out before hand: It’s a little well known fact that most men perform better in round two and last longer. Well, if you masturbate beforehand your second round will technically be your first. There is the caveat that it may take time to reboot for round two so bare that in mind.

Flowing hourglass on wooden table; Twilight blue