How to have a 3some but without having a third person

I’m pretty sure that one or both partners in most relationships today have thought or spoken about having a threesome. However, the idea of bringing in a third person, finding them, setting up boundaries, creating reassurances etc can be overwhelming. 

So here’s a way to explore the pleasures and sensations of having a third person without actually having anyone else – toys!

Let me explain – if a woman would like to experience MMF (male, male, female) combination of a threesome then something like the curved 7.5inch dong is perfect. It’s a dildo with a suction cup that can be stuck to any flat surface. So, for example it can be stuck to the floor so she can ride it while giving oral to her partner. Alternatively it can be stuck to the wall while she pushes back on it. 

For the man the Satisfyer Men Pleasure Stroker Masturbator is that is needed. His partner can ride is face while using the toy on his penis. It’ll give the sensation of experiencing two women at the same time. Another alternative is for the woman to hold the toy next to her yoni so that he can alternate his strokes between being inside her and the toy. 

There are plenty of creative and kinky ways these toys can be used to recreate the sensations of having a third person in on that action. Yes, some aspects and dimensions won’t happen being touched and stroked but multiple hands but, it’s a great starting point. 

Give it a go and let us know how you get on.

Kinks vs Fetishes – what’s the difference?

As more and more people exploring their sexual side kinks and fetishes are an area that comes up. However, the understanding of what they are leaves some confused. Here’s the Eroticnoire 101 of kinks vs fetish

Kink: Something that arouses you and is usually considered outside the ‘norm’ or unconventional. Kinks tend to be around exploration, discovery, pushing boundaries and an addition enhances the sexual experience. 

Fetish: This is a sexual act, object, aeasthetic, behaviour, characteristic or body part that is necessary for a person to become aroused or a part of sex. They tend to very specific and until they are satisfied won’t result in sexual pleasure, an example being feet play. 

There is a danger with fetishes as some can be based on race or inappropriate and non consensual acts such as peeping. 

It should be pointed out that BDSM is an area of sexual pleasure that can cause a lot of confusion as an aspect of BDSM can be a kink for one person and a fetish for another – example spanking or choking. They often overlap and form a grey area. A way to differentiate the two is when a kink becomes the primary source of sexual pleasure, then it’s a fetish. 

Edging what is it and are the benefits

Edging – What is it?
It’s the sexual technique of repeatedly building up to an orgasm and delaying the release each time. While for the most part orgasm is the end goal of sex preventing release might seem counter intuitive.

Why do it?
But here’s five reasons to edge
Can intensify the actual orgasm
Improve stamina
Aid in prolonging sex
Can help achieve multiple orgasms

How’s it done
Gradually stimulate yourself or partner to just below the point of orgasm eg if the point of orgasm is 9 out of 10 stop at 7 or 8.
Once you’ve got to that point pause or stop stimulation until you feel the sensation subside
Take deep breaths during this time
Once sensation has subsided, it starts to gradually build up again to that point just below orgasm

Tip
You can edge for as many times or long as you like. Some people do it for days or even weeks.

5 herbs for improved sexual performance

Maca: This bad boy has a load of benefits which include: increased libdo, improved fertility, decreased stress, and improved fitness performance. It’s not a instant fixer and does require you take it over a period of time for it to kick in. This can vary but can be as little as a week to a month.  

Panax ginseng: generally speaking it promotes the release of nitric oxide, triggering erections by relaxing the smooth muscles of the penis. It can also enhance sexual arousal by increasing energy levels and hormone regulation. It can also lead to having firmer, longer-lasting erections that are easier to attain.

Tongkat ali: This root has been found to male reproductive function and fertility – including sperm motility, semen production, libido, erectile function. It also in the regulation of testosterone hormone 

Yohimbine: traditionally it’s been used as an aphrodisiac and to enhance sexual performance. Yohimbe also helps resolve erectile dysfunction and improve athletic performance. It may be hard to find but it’s definitely one to try. 

Ginkgo biloba: this herb works by relaxing the blood vessels allowing blood to flow to the penis. It also offers 4 positive effects on all 4 phases of the sexual response cycle: desire, excitement (erection and lubrication), orgasm, and resolution (afterglow). 

10 kink and fetish based date ideas for Valentine’s day

With Valentine’s fast approaching it can leave a lot of people stuck with what to do away from the typical dinner and gifts. Well, as you’re part of the Eroticnoire tribe it’s safe to say you’re open to something that might be a little more kinky. Here’s 10, yes, 10 date ideas for Valentine’s day. 

1. Visit a BDSM dungeon: whether you’re into kink or not visiting a BDSM dungeon can take your sexual experiences into a whole new world. Some dungeons nowadays even offer overnight stays and you’ll have the whole place to yourself. You can be as wild and loud as you like. You’ll have the chance to try out new things and explore in an environment that is fitting. A quick Google search should throw up options. Try using ‘BDSM Dungeons near me’. 

2. Read erotic poetry or stories to eachother: If you’re a sapoisexual how about reading some erotic poetry to eachother. You can up the stakes by reading a novel or simply the sex scenes the book. To add some extra sexiness, have your partner play with themselves while you read out aloud. You could also orally pleasure them while they read.

3. Erotic workshop: whether you’re in the early stages of dating or in a full-blown relationship erotic workshops are a great way to develop connection as well as have fun. There is a wide range of workshops, from tantric sex, to shirabi, to role play classes. You’ll be taught by experts and learn something new together. Google is your friend, get searching. 

4. Visit a sex shop together: this can be fun and an opportunity to dive into what the other likes, willing to explore, and has enjoyed in the past. Plus you can pick up something new and go home to try it out. You can make it fun by buying something for each other without the person knowing what it is until you get home. 

5. Have a non third person threesome: I’m sure you’re confused by this one so let me explain. Chances are one or both partners in a relationship would like to try a threesome but not sure. One way around it is to incorporate a vagina flashlight and dildo into the mix. That way you can experience dual simulation without the need for there to be a third person. Example – the woman can stick the dildo to the wall or floor and ride it while giving her partner oral so she’ll get the sensation of having two men at the same time. The woman can ride the man’s face and use the flashlight on him. He’ll have the sensation of tasting her while being inside another woman. There are lots of positions, places and things to explore this game. 

6. Explore a fetish: If you’ve never explored your fetish now is the perfect time. Have a fetish focused date where you just explore your kinks. There’s so many fetishes and kinks but the popular ones are rope, latex, spanking and choking. Ensure you discuss limits, safe words to ensure you’re both comfortable and safe. 

7. Get a massage together: We all know massages feel great and can help us relax, ease tension and de-stress. So why not get one together. You’ll both feel great after and be in the mood to get busy or simply just relax for the rest of the night. Either way you’ll be feeling good. 

8. Use a remote controlled sex toy in public: There are lots of toys today that can be worn in public (by the woman) and controlled remotely. Some are simple and it’s just a simple remote that turns the toy on and off but you have to be within a set range, say 10 feet. Others have more control and some can even be controlled via a smartphone app. This means you can be literally on the other side of the world. If this sounds like it could be fun www.redroompleasures.com offers some remote controllable toys. 

9. Sex crawl: this is like a bar crawl where you go from location to location and have sex. This can be done at home but for the more adventurous this can be done in public locations. It doesn’t have to be full blown sex, it can be oral, finger play, using toys etc. The aim is simply do it in as many public (and if you’re really brave, crowded) places as possible. 

10. Visit a burlesque/kink performance show: Burlesque shows are a great form of sexy, artistic and entertaining fun. They can make for a great way to set the mood without pressure, spark ideas and be a great post event talking point. 

Have to make an orgasmic new year’s resolution

What’s an orgasmic New year’s resolution?

Put simply it’s like any other new year’s resolution but it specifically focuses on sexual fulfilment and pleasure. Just as many make resolutions about saving more, getting healthy etc shouldn’t we do the same with the sexual aspects of ourselves and lives? 

Steps to creating a orgasmic new year’s resolution

Here’s some tips on how to create your very own orgasmic new year’s resolution

1. Self reflect and evaluate: What are the areas and ways you’d felt your sexual self and life left you feeling fulfilled and unfulfilled? What were the pros and cons of your sexual discisions, reactions and thought processes. Be honest, but also be kind to yourself. It’s not about beating yourself up or blaming.  
2. Outline your sexual goals: Think about what you’d like to sexual do more of as well as what you’d like to explore. Think about your personality, inner voice and why you’d like to do the things you’ve outlined. What’s your motivation for setting your orgasmic resolutions? This might require more in depth exploration and even support of a professional
3. Talk about it: If you’re in a relationship it’s vital you talk with your partner about it. Find out if they have any. See if they align, if there’s any hard limits and discuss how you’d both move forward
4. Do some research: yeah, sometimes you just want to dive right in but depending on what you want to explore, you’ll need to get some background knowledge. 
5. Take your time: Everyone’s pace, level and journey is different when it comes to sexual fulfilment, discovery and expression. The only key advice is to remain consistent, review and  adjust if necessary. Example,  If  you wish to explore tantric sex or go to a party remember it may take time for you mind and body to connect so you  can find your rhythm. 

conclusion

Bottomline is to review, outline, talk about it, research and don’t rush. Developing an orgasmic resolution is a journey within itself and just like sex that can be as pleasurable as the climatic destination. 

If you have an orgasmic new year’s resolution or tips or stories on how to have an orgasmic life  we’d love to hear about it. 

What’s your sexual energy?

 

We all have our ‘base’ type of sexual energy but with all energy it is in a constant state of flux, it’s fluid.  It’s important to not only know one’s own energy but to explore it, expand it and most of all be comfortable in it. Equally important is our ability to express and communicate it to others – without shame or hesitation.

Below are five types of sexual energies which will hopefully help you get to know and understand yours (or your partner’s)

Kegal exercises for men

Kegal exercises aren’t just for women. Here’s some information that can take a man’s sex game to the next level. Originally done for health reasons, (premature ejaculation, incontinence etc.) kegal exercises are done to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. However, a load of sexual benefits have also been discovered.

Here are 5 benefits to doing the exercises 

1. Ejaculation control
This is perhaps what the exercise is known for – helping guys deal with premature ejaculation. Training the PC can help by enhancing your ability to hold back from ejaculating just before the point of no return. Don’t dismiss this benefit if you’re a stamina daddy; lasting longer – regardless of control ability, is always a good thing. The benefit is it buys you time to rest, change positions or take whatever action you need to delay your orgasm before continuing to have sex.

2. Improving erection strength and size
Doing kegels actively pumps more blood into the penis which can then have the following effects on your erection:

·A bigger erection

·A harder erection

·Erections last longer, not just before climax but in some cases even after.

·It’ll be easier to get an erection as doing kegal exercises actively pump blood into the penis.

3. Improved of ejaculation
Over time some men develop a larger volume of ejaculation as a result of developing their pelvic floor muscles, in some cases being able ejaculate further.

4. More intense orgasms
Who doesn’t want more intense orgasms? Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles can result in you having more powerful, more intense orgasms. Plus, If he can stop himself ejaculating but still orgasm, you may be able to have male multiple orgasms during sex.

So how do men do kegal exercises?

First he has to find his pelvic floor muscle. This can be done by:

Stop flow technique: He must aim to stop urination in midstream or tighten the muscles that keep from passing gas. These manoeuvres use your pelvic floor muscles. Do not do this repetitively. This is not an exercise, but a way to identify the correct muscles.

Visual technique:  While naked in front of a mirror he should try to do as above. If the correct muscles are tightened he’ll be able to see the base of the penis draw in and scrotum lift up. The back passage (anus) will tighten too but it is not the focus of the exercise. He should feel a ‘lift and a squeeze’ inside your pelvis. The lower abdomen may flatten slightly, but try to keep everything above the belly button relaxed, and breathe normally.

Next is how to perfect the technique. This is done by tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold for 3-5 seconds, and then relax for 3-5 seconds. Repeat this a few times. Once this is mastered the next step is to do it for longer and or while sitting, standing or walking. Repeat, ideally, 3 times a day doing 8-12 reps. Remember to maintain focus and technique and ensure the abdomen muscles aren’t tensed.

Ideal times to do it are while eating, travelling, AFTER urinating or watching tv.

It’s important the Kegel exercises isn’t used to start and stop your urine stream as it’s believed it can cause urinary issues.

Staying Power 101 – part 1

Some of you may remember a little while back I did a blog on how to make a woman squirt. (link). It proved to be successful for a lot a people – not to mention create a good debate.

One of the things that came out of it was questions from men (and women) about tips for men and how to improve their technique, primarily last longer. So here it is, the Mr E guide to lasting longer. However, before I start I have to add my disclaimer; these tips are just that… tips, guidelines, recommendations, ideas, strategies. They are not hard and fast rule or guarantees. Also, with all things they take time and practice – which if your lady is up for your ‘learning’ means more pleasurable encounters 😉 There won’t be some miracle overnight and immediate turn around that’ll have you f**king like a veteran pornstar but it will, with time, help you recognize, control and enable men to last longer. I’ll be outlining a total of 8 tips, here’s the first four.

Ok, now that’s out the way here is my Staying Power blog pt 1.

Breathe: I know this might sound odd but most will say ‘deh, of course I’m breathing – I’d die otherwise!!’. Well, I’m not talking about your regular unconscious, normal breathing. I’m talking about being conscious of your breathing and more to the point slowing it down. The thing is during the throngs of passion our heartrate and breathing increases, it’s this increase which has been known to set people on the climb to climax. What I’m asking you to do is be aware of your breathing and slow it down. Take deep, long, slow, focused breathes. Why? 1. It’ll help slow your heartrate, fill your body with oxygen and help stall the orgasmic climb. 2. It’ll take your mind of the moment and pleasure. Yes, I know this sound counter intuitive but hear me out. The more and deeper you get ‘in the moment’ the more and quicker you’re likely to climax. Become conscious of your breathing and focusing on it will help take you out the moment far enough that’ll help ‘relax’ and stall your climax. As a footnote, you slowing your breathing doesn’t mean you have to slow your pace, thrust or intensity – it’s just your breathing you’re slowing down.

Kegal exercises: We hear a lot about it being recommended – if not dictated – that women do kegal exercises, it’s benefits (for her and him) and the health of her yoni (kitty). However, you often don’t hear about men being encouraged to do theirs. And yes, there are kegal exercises for me. There are many health benefits why men should do them (prostate health is one) but just like for women it can also heighten his (and her pleasure). The benefit we’re focusing on here is being able to literally hold off and stop ejaculation. Now, in my opinion, it’s near impossible for a man to develop kegal strength powerful enough to totally stop ejaculation. However, it can, if he gets strong enough help stall it. How do you do kegal exercises? Pretend like you’re stopping your pee once it’s started. You can do this while you’re actually taking a piss or at another time. The aim is to avoid clenching your butt, stomach muscles or holding your breathe. Hold for approx. 5-8 seconds, let go, for 2-3, then hold again. You can pulse if you wish but it doesn’t work the must as well. This muscle is like any other muscle in your body, it takes time to develop strength, you have to do it often, you have to push for it to get stronger (ie hold for longer/do more ‘reps’). A upside of developing your kegal, just like with women, it can cause your orgasms to become more intense. Don’t feel guilty about this because as it becomes more intense the visual, audible and physical velocity can add to her pleasure to: win-win.

Point upward: I’m still analysing this one but it seems to work for me – probably a bit TMI but hey, I can’t recommend or endorse anything I haven’t tried on or for myself right? Anyway, point upwards. Basically, the aim is to have your dick pointing up to the celling as much as possible. Let me break down the science… when we men get hard blood rushes to the obvious place. What this does is cause the nerve endings to fire up and become more sensitive to stimulation. The head of the penis in particular becomes hyper-sensitive to stimulation. You with me so far? When you’re on top (missionary) you’re dick is basically pointing downwards which causes even more blood to rush to the head. More blood to the head, more hyper-sensitive, the more likely and quicker you’ll nut. So, the ‘trick’ is to have it point upwards. Blood still rushes into your dick but the limits how much gets to the tip. You still with me? I hope so… the idea here is to basically let her ride you. As with many her riding is pleasurable and within the top 4 positions (I’ll let you debate which the other 3 are).

Stop & start: I’m sure many are familiar with this technique but I won’t make any assumptions and cover it anyway. The technique is exactly as it sounds – during you’re session you stop and start again. There are various ways this can be done and at certain times. Ways it can be done and include:

Change position: If you think you’re approaching the nut threshold you stop, change position, and start again.

Bring in some foreplay: I love my foreplay and never limit to being a prelude to sex. Including it during sex allows you to stop in a way that seems natural and not that you’re about to nut. Stopping and kissing, focusing on sucking on her breasts or body is a way to stop and start

Taste her: this is a great way to stop and start. You get to stop, pull out and just give her some good tongue action. 1. It breaks things up and gives her a different dynamic to the pleasure you’re giving her. 2. You look ‘creative’ 3. You can do it repeatedly and for various lengths of time.

There are times which are recommended you stop and start. The primary one is when she’s telling you she’s about to cum. Unless it’s part of your pleasurable punishment, you’re a Dominate and making her ‘edge’ or you simply want her to beg – stopping just before she’s about to cum is a no-no (unless you want her to get real pissed with you lol).

Ok…

That’s it for now. Have a read, have a practice. Let me know your thoughts. Share, tag a friend. Leave a comment.

Part two will be coming soon (sorry, the pun wasn’t intentional)

Mr E aka Mr Eroticnoire

Sex tip pt6 – 9 Aug

reading orgasm/bedtime story: I believe the reading erotica is to the mind what an orgasm is to the body. However, I also think its great when you can combine the two.

You and your partner get naked and comfortable on the sofa or bed. Grab their favorite erotic book, flick to their favorite sex scene are start reading. You can kneel down between their legs (or if you’re a woman straddle them). As they read you taste/ride/slide inside them … slowly. you’re whole aim is to be as slow and focused with whatever you’re doing to them. While you’re doing that they must read – out aloud – that sex scene from the book. If they stop reading, you stop what you’re doing.
The aim is to see how long they (or you) last before you lose control.