We all have our ‘base’ type of sexual energy but with all energy it is in a constant state of flux, it’s fluid. It’s important to not only know one’s own energy but to explore it, expand it and most of all be comfortable in it. Equally important is our ability to express and communicate it to others – without shame or hesitation.
Below are five types of sexual energies which will hopefully help you get to know and understand yours (or your partner’s)
Kegal exercises aren’t just for women. Here’s some information that can take a man’s sex game to the next level. Originally done for health reasons, (premature ejaculation, incontinence etc.) kegal exercises are done to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. However, a load of sexual benefits have also been discovered.
Here are 5 benefits to doing the exercises
1. Ejaculation control
This is perhaps what the exercise is known for – helping guys deal with premature ejaculation. Training the PC can help by enhancing your ability to hold back from ejaculating just before the point of no return. Don’t dismiss this benefit if you’re a stamina daddy; lasting longer – regardless of control ability, is always a good thing. The benefit is it buys you time to rest, change positions or take whatever action you need to delay your orgasm before continuing to have sex.
2. Improving erection strength and size
Doing kegels actively pumps more blood into the penis which can then have the following effects on your erection:
·A bigger erection
·A harder erection
·Erections last longer, not just before climax but in some cases even after.
·It’ll be easier to get an erection as doing kegal exercises actively pump blood into the penis.
3. Improved of ejaculation
Over time some men develop a larger volume of ejaculation as a result of developing their pelvic floor muscles, in some cases being able ejaculate further.
4. More intense orgasms
Who doesn’t want more intense orgasms? Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles can result in you having more powerful, more intense orgasms. Plus, If he can stop himself ejaculating but still orgasm, you may be able to have male multiple orgasms during sex.
So how do men do kegal exercises?
First he has to find his pelvic floor muscle. This can be done by:
Stop flow technique: He must aim to stop urination in midstream or tighten the muscles that keep from passing gas. These manoeuvres use your pelvic floor muscles. Do not do this repetitively. This is not an exercise, but a way to identify the correct muscles.
Visual technique: While naked in front of a mirror he should try to do as above. If the correct muscles are tightened he’ll be able to see the base of the penis draw in and scrotum lift up. The back passage (anus) will tighten too but it is not the focus of the exercise. He should feel a ‘lift and a squeeze’ inside your pelvis. The lower abdomen may flatten slightly, but try to keep everything above the belly button relaxed, and breathe normally.
Next is how to perfect the technique. This is done by tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold for 3-5 seconds, and then relax for 3-5 seconds. Repeat this a few times. Once this is mastered the next step is to do it for longer and or while sitting, standing or walking. Repeat, ideally, 3 times a day doing 8-12 reps. Remember to maintain focus and technique and ensure the abdomen muscles aren’t tensed.
Ideal times to do it are while eating, travelling, AFTER urinating or watching tv.
It’s important the Kegel exercises isn’t used to start and stop your urine stream as it’s believed it can cause urinary issues.
Some of you may remember a little while back I did a blog on how to make a woman squirt. (link). It proved to be successful for a lot a people – not to mention create a good debate.
One of the things that came out of it was questions from men (and women) about tips for men and how to improve their technique, primarily last longer. So here it is, the Mr E guide to lasting longer. However, before I start I have to add my disclaimer; these tips are just that… tips, guidelines, recommendations, ideas, strategies. They are not hard and fast rule or guarantees. Also, with all things they take time and practice – which if your lady is up for your ‘learning’ means more pleasurable encounters 😉 There won’t be some miracle overnight and immediate turn around that’ll have you f**king like a veteran pornstar but it will, with time, help you recognize, control and enable men to last longer. I’ll be outlining a total of 8 tips, here’s the first four.
Ok, now that’s out the way here is my Staying Power blog pt 1.
Breathe: I know this might sound odd but most will say ‘deh, of course I’m breathing – I’d die otherwise!!’. Well, I’m not talking about your regular unconscious, normal breathing. I’m talking about being conscious of your breathing and more to the point slowing it down. The thing is during the throngs of passion our heartrate and breathing increases, it’s this increase which has been known to set people on the climb to climax. What I’m asking you to do is be aware of your breathing and slow it down. Take deep, long, slow, focused breathes. Why? 1. It’ll help slow your heartrate, fill your body with oxygen and help stall the orgasmic climb. 2. It’ll take your mind of the moment and pleasure. Yes, I know this sound counter intuitive but hear me out. The more and deeper you get ‘in the moment’ the more and quicker you’re likely to climax. Become conscious of your breathing and focusing on it will help take you out the moment far enough that’ll help ‘relax’ and stall your climax. As a footnote, you slowing your breathing doesn’t mean you have to slow your pace, thrust or intensity – it’s just your breathing you’re slowing down.
Kegal exercises: We hear a lot about it being recommended – if not dictated – that women do kegal exercises, it’s benefits (for her and him) and the health of her yoni (kitty). However, you often don’t hear about men being encouraged to do theirs. And yes, there are kegal exercises for me. There are many health benefits why men should do them (prostate health is one) but just like for women it can also heighten his (and her pleasure). The benefit we’re focusing on here is being able to literally hold off and stop ejaculation. Now, in my opinion, it’s near impossible for a man to develop kegal strength powerful enough to totally stop ejaculation. However, it can, if he gets strong enough help stall it. How do you do kegal exercises? Pretend like you’re stopping your pee once it’s started. You can do this while you’re actually taking a piss or at another time. The aim is to avoid clenching your butt, stomach muscles or holding your breathe. Hold for approx. 5-8 seconds, let go, for 2-3, then hold again. You can pulse if you wish but it doesn’t work the must as well. This muscle is like any other muscle in your body, it takes time to develop strength, you have to do it often, you have to push for it to get stronger (ie hold for longer/do more ‘reps’). A upside of developing your kegal, just like with women, it can cause your orgasms to become more intense. Don’t feel guilty about this because as it becomes more intense the visual, audible and physical velocity can add to her pleasure to: win-win.
Point upward: I’m still analysing this one but it seems to work for me – probably a bit TMI but hey, I can’t recommend or endorse anything I haven’t tried on or for myself right? Anyway, point upwards. Basically, the aim is to have your dick pointing up to the celling as much as possible. Let me break down the science… when we men get hard blood rushes to the obvious place. What this does is cause the nerve endings to fire up and become more sensitive to stimulation. The head of the penis in particular becomes hyper-sensitive to stimulation. You with me so far? When you’re on top (missionary) you’re dick is basically pointing downwards which causes even more blood to rush to the head. More blood to the head, more hyper-sensitive, the more likely and quicker you’ll nut. So, the ‘trick’ is to have it point upwards. Blood still rushes into your dick but the limits how much gets to the tip. You still with me? I hope so… the idea here is to basically let her ride you. As with many her riding is pleasurable and within the top 4 positions (I’ll let you debate which the other 3 are).
Stop & start: I’m sure many are familiar with this technique but I won’t make any assumptions and cover it anyway. The technique is exactly as it sounds – during you’re session you stop and start again. There are various ways this can be done and at certain times. Ways it can be done and include:
Change position: If you think you’re approaching the nut threshold you stop, change position, and start again.
Bring in some foreplay: I love my foreplay and never limit to being a prelude to sex. Including it during sex allows you to stop in a way that seems natural and not that you’re about to nut. Stopping and kissing, focusing on sucking on her breasts or body is a way to stop and start
Taste her: this is a great way to stop and start. You get to stop, pull out and just give her some good tongue action. 1. It breaks things up and gives her a different dynamic to the pleasure you’re giving her. 2. You look ‘creative’ 3. You can do it repeatedly and for various lengths of time.
There are times which are recommended you stop and start. The primary one is when she’s telling you she’s about to cum. Unless it’s part of your pleasurable punishment, you’re a Dominate and making her ‘edge’ or you simply want her to beg – stopping just before she’s about to cum is a no-no (unless you want her to get real pissed with you lol).
Ok…
That’s it for now. Have a read, have a practice. Let me know your thoughts. Share, tag a friend. Leave a comment.
Part two will be coming soon (sorry, the pun wasn’t intentional)
Mr E aka Mr Eroticnoire
reading orgasm/bedtime story: I believe the reading erotica is to the mind what an orgasm is to the body. However, I also think its great when you can combine the two.
You and your partner get naked and comfortable on the sofa or bed. Grab their favorite erotic book, flick to their favorite sex scene are start reading. You can kneel down between their legs (or if you’re a woman straddle them). As they read you taste/ride/slide inside them … slowly. you’re whole aim is to be as slow and focused with whatever you’re doing to them. While you’re doing that they must read – out aloud – that sex scene from the book. If they stop reading, you stop what you’re doing.
The aim is to see how long they (or you) last before you lose control.
Woody Allen said “Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.” however, laughing during sex not only helps make sex more enjoyable and relaxed it can also be highly pleasurable for the man – or more to the point be a powerful weapon for the woman.
ladies, next time you’re having sex try to laugh while he’s inside you – and i mean really laugh. The science behind the laughter his that your stomach contracts and spasm. These spasms, these contractions travel down to and through your vagina. it creates a tight rippling grip around his shaft which can make his toes curl. If you find it difficult to laugh have him tickle you or have a sex play fight – just be silly, have fun and do whatever it takes to laugh while he’s inside you.
Another good time to laugh is just as/after he’s about to climax – position doens’t matter but riding him helps as he can’t move 😉
This, apparently, is how you seduce someone. interesting.
1 Choose the Right ‘traget’
2 Create a False Sense of Security-Approach Indirectly
3 Send Mixed Signals
4 Appear to Be an Object of Desire-Create Triangles
5 Create a Need-Stir Anxiety and Discontent
6 Master the Art of Insinuation
7 Enter Their Spirit
8 Create Temptation
9 Keep Them in Suspense- What comes Next? Continue reading
hide and freak: have your partner wear a skirt/dress/leggings and carry a bullet/smalll vibrator with her and arrange to meet you in a public place. You’ll direct her to get on a bus/go into a shop eg a book shop, find a corner and press the bullet against her clit. You’ll be some distance away from her where she can’t see you but you’ll be on the phone. While on the phone you’ll tell her how u want to taste her/fuck her. She has to try and find you before she cums/gets caught.
Sexy voicenote: Make a voicenote/recording of how you want to please, taste, fuck your partner (or recollect a previous sex session that was just amazing). It should be at least 5 mins, ideally 10-15 mins. Ensure you speak with emotion, passion and down right sexual energy – make noises too. Put it on their phone/mp3 player. Get on a public train/bus and sit opposite them and have them play it to themselves. Look into their eyes as they listen to it. They can not do or say anything and they can’t touch you.
Here’s the first of my many sex tips and tricks.
Remember; with great power comes great responsibility *naughty smile*
Counting climax (0-100): Lay your partner down on the bed (put a towel under her bum – you’ll need it) Make her spread her legs then get an ice cube and circle her clit and make her count out loud each rotation around her clit (its vital she counts out loud). See how far she can go without cumming/make her count to 100. Each rotation should at least 1-2 seconds – ie should be as slow as possible. Have plenty ice cubes on hand as they might melt. To add to the tension ensure that she mustn’t stop – if she does you stop.This game can work very well over the phone. You can also add to this by including a blindfold or hand restraints so they can’t move.
Ladies: you can do the same for you fella just focus around the head/tip of his penis.
