My thoughts on ‘wifey material’ and its danger.
I’ll let the blog do your thoughts but would love to hear your thoughts, experience and questions if you’ve got any. Let’s talk.
- With the ‘wifey material’ mentality nobody wins.
Not the ‘sexual’ women, not the ‘wifey material’ women, not even the man.
- Men (and society) are conditioned to believe women who own their sexual agency are not ‘wifey’ material. These women are not seen as modest. They don’t attach shame, guilt or hide their sensuality and as a result are not respected, valued or deemed worthy.
- Women who uphold the status of being ‘modest’ or don’t express or hide their sexual agency are seen as ‘wifey’ material. They save themselves for their future husband/a good man and uphold the modesty status as a badge of honour and virtue and generally viewed as ‘good girls’, domesticated, home-makers etc.
- The issue: sexually liberated women excite most men – but also scare them too. Men will sleep with them, lust after and desire them – even love them. However, they are seen as tainted, impure, unworthy of the status of ‘wifey’.
- ‘wifey material’ women are unable to excite these same men as a sexually liberated women does. These men struggle with being able to simultaneously love, respect and sexually desire their ‘wifey material’ woman the same way they do a sexual liberated woman. It’s basically either or. And in some case these men then (some, not all) cheat on their wives with same sexually liberated women.
- Sexually liberated women (who wish to be a wife and very much deserving of marriage), are ‘left on the shelf’ or ‘for the streets’ and boxed into the dimensions of not being suitable wife. They are not even given basic respect, love, value the deserve. They are viewed as sexual object and objectified rather than as a person.
- These men who marry a ‘wifey material’ woman are then ‘trapped’ in a relationship, marriage, situationship because they’ve been told the sexually liberated women is undesirable. They are unable to see their wife in any sexual way as they associate it with being a whore.
- Bottom line is – nobody wins. We all need to recognise, unlearn, challenge and deconstruct this ‘wifey material’ mentally. This is not all men, it’s not all women but it is an issue for all sides.
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