Tongue Airways – the safety announcement
Ladies, this is your tongue flight Captain Eroticnoire speaking. On behalf of the entire crew of soft lips, long tongue and pleasuring mouth, we’d like to welcome aboard Tongue Airlines flight 696, non-stop service from airport of frustration to international airport of orgasmictopia.
Your flight time will be endless hours and nonstop minutes. You’ll be flying at an altitude of 8,000 clitoral screaming nerve endings – which is a ground speed of sonic boom moans per orgasm.
If you haven’t already done so, please stow your carry-on luggage of inhibitions underneath the seat of reservations or the overhead compartment of misgivings. Please make sure your nipples and back are in their full and upright position as you take you seat on my face.
If you are seated next to an emergency exit of excited panic, please read carefully the special instructions of your body’s wants located on the card of shivers under your skin. If you do not wish to perform the functions described in the event of orally pleasured emergency shudders, please ask your tongue flight attendant to reseat you on a seat of skilful fingers.
At this time, we request that all mobile phones, intercoms and laptops be turned off for the full duration of your tongue flight, as these items will interfere with the navigational and communication equipment on this tongue aircraft. However, you are permitted to use battery operated rabbits and other such toys before and during your flight.
Your moans, heavy breathing and the air pressure of you lungs are always being monitored. In the event of a decompression caused by loud and suddenly released moans, an oxygen mask of bottom lip will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask of bottom lip towards your teeth. Place it firmly between your teeth and bite down until cabin pressure of your senses stabilises.
In the event of an emergency orgasm, please assume the bracing position. Lean forward with your hands on top of your head. Ensure your clit is placed firmly against the tongue and brace for impact. If you squirt, a life vest of buoyant mouth is located in a pouch of soft lips under your wetness.
When instructed by your senses allow the crew member of pleasing mouth to open and place it over the head of your clit. Pass the straps of strong hands around your waist and adjust. To inflate the buoyancy vest of pleasing mouth, place you hands on top of the flight attendance head and slow whine with a gentle but firm motion. However, only do so when you’re leaving the world of sensibility. If you need to top up the mouth vest, breathe hard and heavy from your own mouthpiece. Use the whistle of your screams and the tingles of light to attract attention of your neighbours.
It’s important to note you will experience turbulences of full body spasms. When the seat belt sign of your wide open eyes illuminates with delight, you must fasten the seat belt of my hands around your waist. Let me insert my tongue inside you and have you tighten your walls round it. It is suggested that you keep your seat belt fastened throughout the flight, as these turbulences will be sudden and fierce.
On behalf of Tongue Airways and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice flight.
If you have any questions about our flight today, please don’t hesitate to ask one of our flight attendants. Thank you.